twitter.com/RrobynneUK

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PIERRE OU, LES AMBIGUÏTÉS

In 2022 I helped produce the first-ever English translation and subtitles for French auteur Leos Carax's controversial and unreleased masterpiece 'Pierre ou, Les ambiguïtés' which leaked onto the internet finally in late 2021 after ~20 years with no way to watch it whatsoever. As a centrepiece role in the career of the beautiful Guillaume Depardieu and likewise for Yekaterina Golubeva, both great actors taken from us terribly terribly too soon, it is beyond due a hefty reappraisal on the level of the one Lynch's 'Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me' has been granted over the past decade or so. I think at the time of its release, when many cinema-goers at the end of the 90s were still clinging to the tentative optimism of that period's zeitgeist, Carax's kick in the teeth to End-Of-History liberalism was just too honest, too raw, for that contemporaneous audience to be receptive to. Now, in the 2020s, it rings more undeniably true than ever before. You can now watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usRSToHVtBg but the files are available in slightly higher picture quality among my shared files on Soulseek, where my current username on this laptop is 'Rrobynne Mk. II'. Here too are magnet links to those files, in 3 parts:

Part 1: magnet:?xt=urn:btih:d3ea86a7ec5f926465678f33ef6a02012bdaf6e6&dn=2001-09-24%20-%20Pierre%20ou%2c%20Les%20Ambigu%c3%aft%c3%a9s%20(Pierre%20or%2c%20The%20Ambiguities)%20SXXxE01.%20A%20La%20Lumi%c3%a8re%20(In%20The%20Light)%20%5bdir.%20Leos%20Carax%2c%20bootleg%5d.mkv&tr=https%3a%2f%2ftracker.foreverpirates.co%3a443%2fannounce&tr=http%3a%2f%2fbt.endpot.com%3a80%2fannounce&tr=http%3a%2f%2f1337.abcvg.info%3a80%2fannounce

Part 2: magnet:?xt=urn:btih:3b6a960cc1bb7c69009c03d31db22905a31b3a62&dn=2001-09-24%20-%20Pierre%20ou%2c%20Les%20Ambigu%c3%aft%c3%a9s%20(Pierre%20or%2c%20The%20Ambiguities)%20SXXxE02.%20A%20L%27Ombre%20Des%20Lumi%c3%a8res%20(In%20The%20Shadow%20Of%20The%20Light)%20%5bdir.%20Leos%20Carax%2c%20bootleg%5d.mkv&tr=https%3a%2f%2ftracker.foreverpirates.co%3a443%2fannounce&tr=http%3a%2f%2fbt.endpot.com%3a80%2fannounce&tr=http%3a%2f%2f1337.abcvg.info%3a80%2fannounce

Part 3: magnet:?xt=urn:btih:ad60c69d52494b53130e569b886c10c18878d40d&dn=2001-09-24%20-%20Pierre%20ou%2c%20Les%20Ambigu%c3%aft%c3%a9s%20(Pierre%20or%2c%20The%20Ambiguities)%20SXXxE03.%20Dans%20Le%20Sang%20(In%20The%20Blood)%20%5bdir.%20Leos%20Carax%2c%20bootleg%5d.mkv&tr=https%3a%2f%2ftracker.foreverpirates.co%3a443%2fannounce&tr=http%3a%2f%2fbt.endpot.com%3a80%2fannounce&tr=http%3a%2f%2f1337.abcvg.info%3a80%2fannounce

I'm also interested in producing better translations of the rest of Carax's works but I'm only any good at translating written French and German, not any spoken languages, so I'd need a native French speaker to transcribe what's being said precisely for me to translate from. I'm also interested in helping produce a better translation of Paul Schrader's biopic of Yukio Mishima, if any Japanese speakers are interested in helping out.

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I DESPERATELY NEED FACIAL FEMINISATION BUT I'M DISABLED

I've got a big thick ugly manly flared jaw from clenching my teeth as a kid and a bunch of loose skin bulking up my lower face even more because of my connective tissue problems! It feels really bad (like when you lose a tooth and the gap feels all distorted and unfamiliar at first, except in this case the unfamiliarity never goes away) and I want to do something about it (surgery)! I've felt this way since I was ~13 and now I'm 28 and no closer to being free of the horrible fucking curse popularly called gender dysphoria because I'm too fucking poor and can't afford to save up at all even though I don't drink, smoke, drive, because my health issues make it impossible to do most of my hobbies let alone full-time work! My life is bad enough as it is without this shit on top of it all! The changes from hormones have reduced the masculine traits of the rest of my body enough that my gender dysphoria from the neck down has been reduced, say, 90% now that I'm 8 years into hormone therapy, so I know that transitioning as a treatment for my dysphoria DOES work for me, but my face is still FUCKED! Please, please, please help so that the entirety of my only life isn't spent in my own perfectly personalised living hell! If several hundred people donated just a small amount each it can still add up to enough! I'm in a really bad way, this has been going on too long already! Fuck! I don't know what the fuck to do with myself anymore, this is torture and I've been through enough physical pain in my life not to use that word lightly!

https://gofund.me/e240b3cc
Cheers a bunch!

Update on 02/03/2023: Someone sent me £30 in the post :) Thank you so much whoever you are. xxx Still an astronomical amount of money & luck away from things turning out alright for me but I'm glad someone cared enough to try and help. In specific terms, the three FFS procedures I think I would need for the remaining gender dysphoria I can't change to be bearable are: Jaw reduction - specifically anterior jaw/chin tubercle reduction with emphasis on burring the surface inwards laterally, vertical resection of the inferior border along the back and sides, and lateral corticotomy of the inferior border and ramus especially on the left side due to my orthognathic asymmetry - nose bridge reduction, and lower face / neck lift to address the sagging skin I'm sure will result from removing that much material from one side of my jaw. The jaw reduction alone will cost a solid £15,000 and then about £7000 each for the other two procedures. This is dependant on my choice of surgeon, however - A lot of results I see in Europe emphasise reduction of the vertical height of the jaw rather than lateral tapering, which would lead to a U-shaped lower facial silhouette in my case, no good. I was hoping to consult with Nikhil Maini in Bristol as he said he'd be able to do the type of reduction I described, but he's no longer taking new patients atm so I'm still trying to figure out who the hell to go to for this who doesn't cost like, £75,000 per person like Deschamps-Braly in the USA. If I'm able to stay at the same estimated price point, I would now need approximately 579 people to give me £50 each to have around enough to get the three procedures I believe I need done. If you have any surgeon info that could help my specific case, positive or negative, don't hesitate to get in touch. I really want my life to not have been wrecked by my cowardice in not standing up to my dad and coming out when I was growing up, before puberty started. I really really want something to go on that isn't blind faith that my life won't turn out to have been a tragedy.

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SOME STUFF I'M INTO AT THE MINUTE

New music releases I've been listening to recently:
Shame - Food For Worms
David Brewis - The Soft Struggles
Italia 90 - Living Human Treasure
Unthank|Smith - Nowhere And Everywhere
Mush - Down Tools
black midi - Hellfire
Dutch Uncles - True Entertainment
Erlend Øye - Winter Companion EP
The Lounge Society - Tired Of Liberty
Pacific Breeze: Vol. 3 (city pop compilation)
Also excited for Squid's upcoming 2nd album :)

Old favourites I've been rewatching recently (More recent films do better challenge: IMPOSSIBLE under late-stage capitalism):
Leos Carax - The whole lot!! I can't get enough of his films
David Lynch - Twin Peaks
Mamoru Oshii - Ghost In The Shell, Innocence
on a related note, Headgear - Patlabor franchise (the whole lot)
Paul Schrader - Mishima: A Life In Four Chapters (in dire need of a better translation, as previously mentioned)
Patrick McGoohan et al - The Prisoner
Katsuhiro Otomo et al - Memories (1995 anthology film)
Tbf, I did enjoy The Banshees Of Inisherin

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I once met a lass with a Skoda
Hawking hemp of a curious odour
She said, full of glee,
"No, it's not AGP,
I'm an AGAMP hexpilled buddhamoder!"